Showing posts with label Esther Arunga. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Esther Arunga. Show all posts

Do you swallow or spit?

    So you have a mouthful and you are not sure what to do? After timidly holding the liquid in your mouth, you stop to re-examine a question that had been on your mind before: to spit or to swallow? Well, some girls swallow, others don't. Whether you spit or swallow is completely up to you - tastes and preferences differ. When I announced the 3rd Annual Nairobi Wine Festival on Twitter, I indeed got some mixed reactions from my twiends:
    • RookieKE @RafikiKenya I'll taste, not swallow.
    • Queen_Lucky @RafikiKenya Problem is when tasting... I don't spit. I actually swallow. So imagine how drunk I get...
      So @RookieKe doesn't swallow, but @Queen_Lucky swallows. To swallow or not to swallow, that's the question. Some people are advising to spit if you're tasting more than one liquid, and swallow if you are tasting that one unique vintage you always wanted to order.

      The 3rd Annual Nairobi Wine Festival will be an opportunity to swallow or spit over 90 liquids from around the world, whilst enjoying live music and delicious bitings around the fabulous poolside at the Holiday Inn:
        Event: 3rd Annual Nairobi Wine Festival
        Venue: Holiday Inn, Westlands, Nairobi
        Dates: Friday 19th March, 5 – 9pm; and Saturday 20th March, 3 – 7pm
        Cost: Kshs 1,400/- per person.
          Tickets are valid for one day only, and include unlimited swallowing or spitting, bitings and a branded wine glass to take home. Tickets available from The Holiday Inn and The Wine Shop in Kileleshwa. Tickets are limited, buy yours in advance to avoid disappointment! For more information call: 0716 555 118.

          You can find some excellent reviews of last year's wine festival here and here.

          And if you are still not sure which option to go for, here is a video that could help you in your decision:



          And finally, here are my two questions to you:
          1. Are you going to this year's wine festival or not?
          2. And do you actually swallow or spit?
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        The Placenta Party of Kenya - and a new national dish

          Esther Arunga and Joseph Hellon held another press conference and revealed just how insane they are.

          Their Political Party is called the Placenta Party of Kenya because according to Hellon the country is in a ‘gestation period’. And the party tag line is ‘taking back Kenya… change we can count on.’ You can see how Esther and Hellon announced their perverse political party in the video below:


          Placenta, the new national dish of the Republic of Kenya?
          Oh my God, what a name for a party, the Placenta Party of Kenya! If Hellon becomes President, we may have to abandon our nyama choma (roasted meat) and adopt a new national dish: the placenta. Yes, it is a dish! On this blog, a man goes into major about cooking up the placenta from a recent pregnancy and making a gourmet dinner party out of it. Check out the photos at your own discretion. I'm not easily shocked, but a normal person probably would be.

          Eating the placenta is known as placentophagy. It is practiced by most mammals in the animal world, including many primates. Are you a primate as well?

          Those who advocate placentophagy in humans, mostly in modern America and Europe, Mexico, Hawaii, China, and the Pacific Islands, believe that eating the placenta prevents postpartum depression and other pregnancy complications. A variety of recipes are known to exist for preparing placenta for eating in spite of the extended taboo against eating human body parts. Human placenta has also been an ingredient in some traditional Chinese medicines.

          Almost convinced? Hellon will get your vote in 2012? So you better get used to cooking placenta by watching the short video.


          Any suggestions for ways of localizing this disgusting practice in Kenya?Source URL: https://pussyhotnaked.blogspot.com/search/label/Esther%20Arunga
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        Like a Virgin


          i made it through the wilderness
          somehow i made it through
          didn't know how lost i was
          until i found you
          Not all is lost after you have been 'touched' by the Finger of God. You can now get your virginity back for only Ksh 1,740/- (about US$25). I found this interesting product called 'Youth Back Plus' for sale just like any other product at Nakumatt, one of Kenya's major supermarkets.

          Youth Back Plus promises to be the complete vaginal solution, nature's gift for women. Its formula is composed of natural herbs and sea compounds. 'Virginity' is restored because of the tightening of the vaginal muscles and the return of elasticity.

          Nakumatt: You Need It, We've Got It! Esther Arunga, please note.

          What a product! Too good to be true! Let's have a look at the advertisement:
          Youth Back Plus will leave your partner unbelievably happy with a renewed sexual satisfaction. Youth Back Plus can help restore and/or keep the family from breaking up. It prevents menstrual pains and keeps women away from cervical cancer as well as removes all the impurities from the female organ. It has healing ingredients so powerful that in spite of all sorts of surgical removals and lacerations, sensitivity can be restored bringing the complete womanhood. This product is highly recommended after childbirth delivery to undergo quick healing and to remove all impurities in the genital tracts and for those who wants to bring back the experiences of the youth.
          Question to the ladies: Have you ever tried to get your virginity back? No, I don't know whether this amazing product would work on men as well, and I haven't tried it out. And no, my girl doesn't need this either. Why would she want to be a virgin anyway?

          And now, as an added bonus to this blog post, here are the video and lyrics of that sweet Madonna song from 1984 entitled 'Like a Virgin' for your reference and further reflection:


          i made it through the wilderness
          somehow i made it through
          didn't know how lost i was
          until i found you
          i was beat incomplete
          i'd been had, i was sad and blue
          but you made me feel
          yeah, you made me feel
          shiny and new
          like a virgin
          touched for the very first time
          like a virgin
          when your heart beats
          next to mine 
          gonna give you all my love, boy
          my fear is fading fast
          been saving it all for you
          'cause only love can last
          you're so fine and you're mine
          make me strong, yeah you make me bold
          oh your love thawed out
          yeah, your love thawed out
          what was scared and cold 
          like a virgin
          touched for the very first time
          like a virgin
          with your heartbeat
          next to mine
          oooh, oooh, oooh
          you're so fine and you're mine
          i'll be yours 'till the end of time
          'cause you made me feel
          yeah, you made me feel
          i've nothing to hide
          like a virgin
          touched for the very first time
          like a virgin
          with your heartbeat
          next to mine
          like a virgin, ooh, ooh
          like a virgin
          feels so good inside
          when you hold me
          and your heart beats, and you love me
          oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
          ooh, baby
          can't you hear my heart beat
          for the very first time?
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        Esther Arunga on Capital Talk (K24)

        Esther Arunga and Joseph Hellon arrested

          Capital FM now reports that the sweet Esther Arunga (is she smoking hot or smoking pot?) and sexophonist Joseph Hellon have been arrested by police over their links to the Finger of God, a religious grouping described as a cult.

          Police raided Hellon's house late Saturday and arrested the two and other followers of the controversial Finger of God ministry. Sources say police want to find out if the ministry is a cult as has been reported. The suspects are being held at Gigiri and Muthaiga Police stations.Source URL: https://pussyhotnaked.blogspot.com/search/label/Esther%20Arunga
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        Videos of the radiant Esther Arunga

          I had never seen Esther Arunga this furious before. She's really hitting at the media. Did she learn a lesson from Lucy Kibaki on that front? Anyway, Esther still looks sweet and smart, so we wish her all the best in her new endeavors. The Finger of God wouldn't be that bad as a President of Kenya maybe, and I wouldn't mind Esther as a Vice President either.





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        The sexy saxophonist

          So why is Esther blowing Hellon's saxophone?

          Well, I just did some small research on it and my conclusion is that we may have to attribute this to the sexiness of the saxophone:
          • The saxophone is usually used as the main instrument for the background music of love scenes.
          • The sax is either held right between someones legs in the crotchal area (drawing attention to said area) or it is played to the side which forces the player to stick out his hips in a sort of thrusting motion
          • The sound of the sax is slow, smooth, and reminiscent of a bedroom voice.
          • Jazz is meant to be sensual, seductice, and a bit on the daring side; and the saxophone is part of that genre.
          • The saxophone sound can be intensely, richly complex, almost as complex as the human voice. Its vibrational energy comes close to the flutter and pant of human respiration and it reacts with such sensitivity to the individual player's breath that no two sax players sound precisely alike. Unruly feelings pour out, often carnal feelings.
          • The way a saxophonist moves in a slow seductive way with closed eyes and the music is usually slow with a haunting melody, so that it almost gives the impression of love-making.
          • The sax is low-pitched compared to most brass instruments; a low, slow voice can be an aphrodisiac.
          But Joseph Hellon as a Finger of God church leader should note that the Church doesn't like the sax. Pius X, who became pope in 1903, was quick to see the moral danger posed by the saxophone. An audacious composer had written saxophones into a mass and he didn't like it. He prohibited instruments that could cause "disgust or scandal," and everybody knew which one he meant. The saxophone sounded to Pius X like the work of the devil.

          Well, we may understand Esther's recent moves a bit better now. And what about you, do you feel attracted to a sax or a saxophonist?

          P.S. The only saxophone-playing U.S. president was Bill Clinton... I think you get my point.
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        Esther Arunga calls off her wedding, wants to blow the sax instead

          This post is an improved version of an article which appeared in the Daily Nation today.


          Esther Arunga leaves her family ‘to join church’

          Esther Arunga, one of Kenya’s hottest television presenters is reported to have been estranged from her family and friends and is now living in a church in Runda.

          The youthful presenter’s friends and a relative on Tuesday said they were afraid she could have gotten herself too deep into a church whose activities they say are suspicious.

          The church - oddly called Finger of God - is said to be run by Joseph Hellon, a man described in entertainment circles as a multi-talented jazz maestro and music teacher.

          The week-long separation from her friends and relatives has left them worried amid reports that she may have quit her job.

          Wedding put on hold

          Esther's wedding has also been put on hold.

          Efforts to contact Joseph Hellon on Tuesday were unsuccessful as he was said to be unavailable at his Runda residence while calls to his mobile phone and the church’s landline went unanswered.

          The Nation however managed to reach Esther Arunga on her mobile phone but she said she was fine.

          According to some former members of the church, about eight more women live in the compound leased to the musician.

          They claimed that in the last one year, the membership has grown from 25 to 500, making it necessary for the church to move to a more spacious premises in the last one week.Source URL: https://pussyhotnaked.blogspot.com/search/label/Esther%20Arunga
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