Showing posts with label Nakumatt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nakumatt. Show all posts

Like a Virgin


    i made it through the wilderness
    somehow i made it through
    didn't know how lost i was
    until i found you
    Not all is lost after you have been 'touched' by the Finger of God. You can now get your virginity back for only Ksh 1,740/- (about US$25). I found this interesting product called 'Youth Back Plus' for sale just like any other product at Nakumatt, one of Kenya's major supermarkets.

    Youth Back Plus promises to be the complete vaginal solution, nature's gift for women. Its formula is composed of natural herbs and sea compounds. 'Virginity' is restored because of the tightening of the vaginal muscles and the return of elasticity.

    Nakumatt: You Need It, We've Got It! Esther Arunga, please note.

    What a product! Too good to be true! Let's have a look at the advertisement:
    Youth Back Plus will leave your partner unbelievably happy with a renewed sexual satisfaction. Youth Back Plus can help restore and/or keep the family from breaking up. It prevents menstrual pains and keeps women away from cervical cancer as well as removes all the impurities from the female organ. It has healing ingredients so powerful that in spite of all sorts of surgical removals and lacerations, sensitivity can be restored bringing the complete womanhood. This product is highly recommended after childbirth delivery to undergo quick healing and to remove all impurities in the genital tracts and for those who wants to bring back the experiences of the youth.
    Question to the ladies: Have you ever tried to get your virginity back? No, I don't know whether this amazing product would work on men as well, and I haven't tried it out. And no, my girl doesn't need this either. Why would she want to be a virgin anyway?

    And now, as an added bonus to this blog post, here are the video and lyrics of that sweet Madonna song from 1984 entitled 'Like a Virgin' for your reference and further reflection:


    i made it through the wilderness
    somehow i made it through
    didn't know how lost i was
    until i found you
    i was beat incomplete
    i'd been had, i was sad and blue
    but you made me feel
    yeah, you made me feel
    shiny and new
    like a virgin
    touched for the very first time
    like a virgin
    when your heart beats
    next to mine 
    gonna give you all my love, boy
    my fear is fading fast
    been saving it all for you
    'cause only love can last
    you're so fine and you're mine
    make me strong, yeah you make me bold
    oh your love thawed out
    yeah, your love thawed out
    what was scared and cold 
    like a virgin
    touched for the very first time
    like a virgin
    with your heartbeat
    next to mine
    oooh, oooh, oooh
    you're so fine and you're mine
    i'll be yours 'till the end of time
    'cause you made me feel
    yeah, you made me feel
    i've nothing to hide
    like a virgin
    touched for the very first time
    like a virgin
    with your heartbeat
    next to mine
    like a virgin, ooh, ooh
    like a virgin
    feels so good inside
    when you hold me
    and your heart beats, and you love me
    oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
    ooh, baby
    can't you hear my heart beat
    for the very first time?
    Source URL: https://pussyhotnaked.blogspot.com/search/label/Nakumatt
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Nyama choma - with compliments from Nakumatt

    The standard blow-out feast for most Kenyans is a huge pile of nyama choma (roast meat). And sometimes you just get a craving for some nice nyama choma, but you don't have the right equipment readily available, so you have to become innovative:



    Innovation courtesy of Nakumatt. Note that the trolley was not destroyed in this case.

    Would this work with an Uchumi trolley as well? Please share your experiences!Source URL: https://pussyhotnaked.blogspot.com/search/label/Nakumatt
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At least 113 people die in tragic tanker explosion in Molo (Kenya)

    A collapsed tanker has exploded near Molo while people were collecting free fuel from it after it had had a road accident. At least 113 people have died and about 200 have been injured. A few of the injured have been discharged from hospital, but most of them remain admitted at the Rift Valley Provincial General Hospital (86) and the Molo District Hospital (31). Apparently, most of the victims are children and women. Local hospitals are overwhelmed and some of the victims have been airlifted to Kenyatta National Hospital (KNH). Among those killed and injured are some policemen who were trying to refrain the public from stealing fuel from the leaking tanker...

    "The people went to scoop up the oil, then something lit the fire, maybe someone dropped a cigarette," Kenya Red Cross spokesman Titus Mung'ou told Reuters of the disaster. "More than 50 people have died." Dozens more sustained life-threatening burns in the explosion which occurred near Jolly Farm on the Nakuru-Eldoret highway at about 7.30 pm on Saturday. Two hours after the fire started there had not been an effort to put it out and a Sunday Nation writer could still see bodies burning away from a distance of about 50 metres.

    "My two sons ran home, picked some jerrycans and ran to get some petrol. I tried to stop them but they did not listen, they told me everyone is going there for the free fuel," said one distraught woman, who would not give her name. "Now I cannot trace them," she said, sobbing as she looked at the skull and bones of one corpse nearby.

    An eye witness told the Sunday Nation that Officers from a nearby GSU camp were the first to arrive at the scene after the tanker crashed. According to the witness, the Officers began demanding a fee from those who wished to scoop petrol spilling from the tanker. “I heard someone saying that they were going to avenge the fee by starting a fire and left the scene fearing for my life,” the eyewitness said. “Moments later, I heard the explosion.” In the confusion a PSV bus driver lost control of his vehicle and crashed. It is suspected that some of those who burnt were passengers on the bus.

    Oh my God, what a very sad week for Kenya! We had the Nakumatt Downtown fire blaze on Wednesday in which at least 48 people died according to some reports, and now we have this 'accident' in Molo where another 113 or more lives have been lost.

    My prayers go to all the family and friends of those who lost their lives in these two extremely tragic events. 

    Let's now all work urgently on disaster preparedness. This week was really too much to bear. Kenyans are angry. Kenyans are shocked. Kenyans are too desperate. Where are our brains? Why don't we ever learn from previous disasters? What are our lives really worth? My fellow blogger Mama has some interesting thoughts on what is wrong with us Kenyans.

    P.S.: Relatives of missing persons can call +254 722 300701 or contact Red Cross officials on the ground on +254 720 460438 and +254 720 430455. 
    Source URL: https://pussyhotnaked.blogspot.com/search/label/Nakumatt
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Abattoirs closed... let's go for cheese!

    Wanjiku Unlimited had a nice post earlier this week entitled Dagoretti Houses of Filth on the recent closure of the Dagoretti slaughterhouses: "As much as we do expect to see blood in a slaughter house, the footage of the abattoirs on TV was disturbing. The kind you really don’t want to see. There was bloody goo on the floor and workers wading through it in gumboots. There was more blood and parts on the counters. And to think that after all this the effluent is then directed to the already choking Nairobi River".

    The post made me think that we may have to abandon a bit of our nyama choma culture and start promoting alternatives to meat. Cheese could be one of several excellent healthy alternatives. The good news is that the quality of most Kenyan cheeses has really gone up over the past few years and a wider variety of local cheeses is now readily available.

    Try out some of Brown's cheeses for example, made in the highlands of Kenya from milk produced by hundred of smallholder farmers. They make delicious cheeses such as Camembert, Brie, Mozzarella, Feta, and much more.

    Brown's informative website has more information about the process and explains the details about their different types of cheeses. The site also features some very nice cheese recipes, which can help you get rid of your nyama choma addiction.

    Hey, and you can actually order online! Imagine, ordering cheese with your mouse... I have always known that mouses like cheese a lot! So let your mouse go for some cheese today!

    Brown's is currently doing tasting sessions in different supermarkets most week-ends. Look out for their Marketing manager, Wanjiku, who is there on hand to advise and encourage customers to try new cheeses. Look for their branded fridge displays in some Nakumatt branches, Village and now also at Westgate and Junction.

    Another interesting brand is Happy Cow, a medium-sized dairy factory in Nakuru. It also procures milk from small scale farmers and their main product line is cheese. Have a glimpse at their site for some more information.

    Have you ever tried Kenyan cheese? If yes, which is your favourite one? Or do you want to stick to your nyama choma for the rest of your life?

    Source URL: https://pussyhotnaked.blogspot.com/search/label/Nakumatt
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Nakumattism

    The Financial Times posted an interesting article today entitled "Kenya’s new consumerism". Barney Jopson accurately describes this new consumerism by referring to the goings-on at Nakumatt, one of Kenya's leading supermarket chains. Nakumatts are "stores that stock everything from maize flour to quad bikes". True, I was at Nakumatt Westgate yesterday, and though I didn't need the maize flour nor a quad bike, I was happy to be able to buy a litre of 'Fresh n Juici' freshly squeezed passion juice and a liter of freshly squeezed tropical mix juice (which included tree tomato!). They taste so yummy and make you feel so healthy, so I finished both of them today, although you can keep them refrigerated for at least another two days (this is the pure stuff, no preservatives or other additives). I am already addicted to shopping at Nakumatt just because of these lovely juices...

    But Nakumatt has aficionados as well as enemies, as is vividly shown in the FT article:
    The company has “transformed consumerism”, says Wambui Mwangi, assistant professor of political science at the University of Toronto, who divides her time between Canada and Kenya. It has taught people new desires and created new rituals, she says, noting how her friends set the dinner table by simply placing a hub-and-spoke cutlery holder bought from Nakumatt in the centre of it.
    “Nakumatt is where you go to show you are educated and prosperous and cognisant of larger affairs,” she adds. “It’s an aspirational space that appeals to everyone, especially the people who can’t really afford to shop there.”
    Alfred Omenya, an architect, academic and managing director of Eco-Build Africa, disagrees and sees in Nakumatt the creeping segregation of Kenyan society. “The guy who navigates the city on foot would be out of place there. If you have to walk to Nakumatt it’s very uncomfortable. There’s no pedestrian access and you have to pass through all those cars.”
    A small band of anti-Nakumattistas has emerged even within the car-owning classes, including Shalini Gidoomal, director of the Kwani literary festival. In spite of the inconvenience often involved, she prefers to shop in the informal sector and says Nakumatt kills off the variety and pleasures of interacting with people in markets and small stores.


    What do you think? Is there life without supermarket chains like Nakumatt?Source URL: https://pussyhotnaked.blogspot.com/search/label/Nakumatt
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