Booty Babe "Pride of the Maasai"

A couple of weeks ago, I asked you to suggest some new exciting characters to spruce up my boring blog. Binyavanga Wainaina's satirical piece "How to Write About Africa" offered some good advice ("Your African characters may include naked warriors, loyal servants, diviners and seers, ancient wise men living in hermitic splendour. Or corrupt politicians, inept polygamous travel-guides, and prostitutes you have slept with"). Readers of this blog agreed that it would be best to bring in a naked warrior.



A moran with his latest catch
So I started looking for naked warriors to blog about. The search was not easy. Some of my finds were fake. Did you know that Kikuyu's are disguising themselves as Maasai on the beaches of Mombasa? Yes, this is because Maasai morans are perceived to be erotic, and old or divorced women from the West come to look for them. Why are morans so attractive to these grannies? Well, morans are always niceley groomed and dressed in red and they also take a lot of herbs - some of which are known to have Viagra-like effects.

Anyway, while searching for naked warriors, I came across an interesting site, Booty Babe Art. Booty Babe Art is Spencer Davis’way of expressing his passion for fantasy art, toys, fashion design, and of course the wonderful variety of female beauty. The project is a tribute to the women that make our day, taking the very definition of “Booty Babe” to new levels.



Pride of the Maasai
A Booty Babe is generally a woman with curves. Waist to hip ratio is usually breath-taking. She’s not necessarily run-way model material, in the traditional sense, but she feels sexy and her self-confidence makes her glow. She’s not afraid to wear skin-tight outfits – and we love her for it. Now you’re getting the picture. You’ve seen her at the mall, in line at the bank, grocery shopping, and out dancing. She’s sweet and sexy, stylish and smart; and her body language states, “This is who I am, and I LOVE being me.”



Pride of the Maasai - front side
In 1998, with this in mind, artist Spencer Davis started adding clay to an otherwise skinny, 12" fashion doll. Numerous gallery exhibitions, and many iterations later, Spencer’s Booty Babe sculptures, have become his personal canvas with which he expresses his passion for toy collecting, foreign culture, female beauty, fantasy and low brow art.

One of Spencer's dolls is called "Pride of the Maasai". You will see from the pictures that she indeed has curves.



Pride of the Maasai - back side
I don't know why Spencer chose to refer to the Maasai when naming this doll. To me, the doll looks more like a girl from any other tribe in Kenya, but not the Maasai. In contrast to this curvy doll, Maasai are always very slim! According to some scientists, this would be mainly because of their protein-rich diet and high activity levels.

But whatever! To me, sizes don't matter, but IQ and a good sense of humor do matter. But of course, if brains and beauty and a nice booty all go together (which is quite rare, unfortunately), I won't say no.

Now, tell me, what are your perfect measurements? Or do you - just like me - focus more on IQ rather than size?Source URL: https://pussyhotnaked.blogspot.com/search/label/fun
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No check no check - Up to 8 hours long

Always is Kenya’s most popular brand of sanitary pads. And it seems to gain even more popularity now through a very appealing advertisement. The ad opens in a girls school as they are having class. One of the girls takes a roll of tissue paper out of her desk and would like to check something... Let's have a look:





Wow, what an upbeat tune and a nicely choreographed dance, very well done! Some of the local television stations here in Kenya are playing the clip a bit too often, but it is still not too boring. And if you're really a fan of the music, you can even download the ringtone for free from here. Just imagine your phone going off with that ringtone... I check I check.

"Up to 8 hours, no check no stain".
I am supporting a cousin of mine who is in high school. Apart from school fees, I have to give her money for all kinds of other things, including sanitary pads. Now she's telling me that the slogan of "8 hours long" is not really correct and I have to double her allocation for sanitary pads from 12 pads per month (4 days x 3 pads/day at a rate of 8 hours per pad) to 24 pads per month. Superior feminine protection for eight hours? Maybe not always? So ladies, I need some help here. Is my cousin's demand still reasonable even now that we have the 8 hours pads available, or is my cousin just trying to rip me off?Source URL: https://pussyhotnaked.blogspot.com/search/label/fun
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Only in Kenya!

There is this cartoon video called "Only in Kenya" which I saw a couple of years ago and I just stumbled upon it again now. The problem with the cute song is that it gets stuck in your head within a few seconds of watching it for the first time. Aaarghhhhh, I wonder whether I will be able to catch any sleep tonight... So here it comes, only in Kenya. Don't tell me I didn't warn you.



Yes, I know we don't have tigers here in Kenya. But nevertheless, the song has even reached Japanese schools:



And the vibe has turned people in other parts of the world crazy as well:



So come on Kenyans, let's sing along, it's a viral song!Source URL: https://pussyhotnaked.blogspot.com/search/label/fun
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Out-of-Office Autoreply: I May Be Promoted to Management

It's that time of the year again when most Kenyans are planning for their long end-of-year holidays, so we need to think about what contingency plans we can put in place for the time we are out of the office. An out-of-office autoreply for our e-mails is one approach and here are some nice ideas I came across:

1. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.
2. Sorry to have missed you but I am at Kenyatta National Hospital having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management.
3. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4th of January 2010. Please be patient and your email will be deleted in the order it was received.
4. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this onethat when you return, you can see how many people did this over and over).
5. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as "Wairimu" instead of "Njoroge".
So, which one should I put? (please don't vote for number five)
And what are you going to put as your out-of-office autoreply?Source URL: https://pussyhotnaked.blogspot.com/search/label/fun
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Sexy veggies

Yes, I know we have all been enjoying plenty of nyama choma parties after I revealed this innovation. But, now it turns out that all the roasted meat is not good for you after all. Research has discovered two cancer-causing (carcinogenic) byproducts associated with barbecuing red meat, poultry, lamb, pork, and fish.


So, I am becoming a vegetarian (for one week). No meat, and more fruits, nuts and veggies. Cool, not? It's easy in Kenya, we have so many good fruits and veggies readily available here, even organic ones. Companies like Green Dreams produce fresh vegetables and fruits in an organic way and have a passion for healthy living.

What, you find fruits and veggies boring? Have a look at this picture then:





Yes indeed, tomatoes are good for you! Tomatoes contain awesome amounts of lycopene, thought to have the highest antioxidant activity of all the carotenoids.

And what about this PETA ad which features a bevy of beauties who are powerless to resist the temptation of veggie love? It was deemed too hot for the Super Bowl. NBC rejected the video because of concerns over a woman "licking pumpkin, touching her breast with her hand while eating broccoli, pumpkin from behind between legs, rubbing pelvic region with pumpkin, screwing herself with broccoli (fuzzy), asparagus on her lap appearing as if it is ready to be inserted into vagina, licking eggplant, and rubbing asparagus on breast..."





'Veggie Love': PETA's Banned Super Bowl Ad


The video got me interested in doing some practical research into this myth or fact that vegetarians make better lovers. So I am trying it out this week, starting tomorrow.

Am not sure though whether I would need to have a vegetarian partner for maximum effect... Anyone out there who has tried this out at home? Please leave your comment.Source URL: https://pussyhotnaked.blogspot.com/search/label/fun
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Kenya's Next Top Model - 2012 season

Kenya's Next Top Model is a reality television show in which a number of people compete for the title of Kenya's Next Top Model and a chance to start their career in the modeling industry.

Here's the line-up for the 2012 season:





It looks like this may become a disappointing season. What do you think?Source URL: https://pussyhotnaked.blogspot.com/search/label/fun
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Nyama choma - with compliments from Nakumatt

The standard blow-out feast for most Kenyans is a huge pile of nyama choma (roast meat). And sometimes you just get a craving for some nice nyama choma, but you don't have the right equipment readily available, so you have to become innovative:





Innovation courtesy of Nakumatt. Note that the trolley was not destroyed in this case.

Would this work with an Uchumi trolley as well? Please share your experiences!Source URL: https://pussyhotnaked.blogspot.com/search/label/fun
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Looking for a job

Could you please help this dude? He is a bit stressed and looking for a job. Excellent references available in places like Israel. He may not be very good as a driver, as he often loses direction and doesn't know where he is going.



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Amazing what you can do with a few condoms

This short video just gave me some brilliant ideas:



Anything else these things can be used for?Source URL: https://pussyhotnaked.blogspot.com/search/label/fun
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"Awash in human effluvia"

The Bathroom Diaries lets you search through lists of more than 12,000 bathrooms all around the world. Each entry gives the restroom stars for cleanliness, safety, accessibility, aesthetics, facilities etc.

I was quite amused to find the following entry on the Nairobi page of the site:

Modern Green Day and Night Bar, Latema Road
Rating: Horrible
Hours: 24 hours
Gender: long drop
Fee: Free
Comments: May have had running water at one time. Virtually awash in human effluvia. Whilst labeled gender specific, in actual fact men, women and ?? all come and go as they please. Also used for sex by the resident prostitutes. Quite simply, the most disgusting toilets I've ever had the misfortune to encounter.
Although this may look funny at first, it does not really portray a good image about Kenya, does it? Fortunately, there is also a restroom in Kenya which is rated as excellent, namely the one at the Norfolk Hotel:

Norfolk Hotel, near the University

Rating: Excellent

Hours: 24 hours

Gender: Western

Fee: Free

Details: clean, safe, celebrity sightings: Jane Seymour (Dr. Quinn) was seen using this restroom.

Comments: The Norfolk is one of the main stopping points for tour groups heading out to the game preserves. The restrooms are just beyond the main desk. Just walk in like you are staying and you'll be fine.

If you happen to find another excellent washroom in Kenya, feel free to add it. It could help rebuild our image abroad while giving fellow Kenyans some good tips.Source URL: https://pussyhotnaked.blogspot.com/search/label/fun
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What's wrong with (most) Kenyan men?

We all know that (most) Kenyan men have never been experts at treating their ladies in the right ways. And after Obama's win, it appears that the situation has only gotten worse, since most Kenyan men are mistakingly assuming their genes are so popular that there is no need for any additional efforts from their sides. Today's article in the Saturday Nation entitled "What your spouse wants" and this post from Vint Falken encouraged me to develop the following draft curriculum for a training which I would like to offer in 2009:

Two-day practical training seminar for Kenyan men - proposed programme
Note: Due to the complexity of the content, each seminar will accept a maximum of eight participants. The seminar will last for two days, and topics covered include:

Day one:

• Toilet rolls - do they grow on the holders? Round table discussion.
  
• Differences between a laundry basket and the floor. Practicing with different types of laundry baskets.
  
• Dishes and cutlery - do they levitate/fly to the kitchen sink by themselves? Debate among a panel of experts.
  
• Losing the remote control. Help line and support groups.
  
• Learning how to find things. Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - open forum.
  
• Beauty does not equal booty. An introduction to common English spelling mistakes.
• Sex: we can't all be perfect, but we can at least avoid the worst moves of all times. An update from the Kenyan blogosphere.
  
• How to do away with unrealistic expectations? Case study: coming home stinking of Tusker and expecting your partner to cuddle and act all-loving.
Day two:

• Empty milk cartons: do they belong in the fridge or in the bin? Group discussion and role play.
  
• Are Kenyan women too choosy or are their standards realistic? Group reflection exercise.
• HealthWatch: Bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health. PowerPoint presentation.
  
• Real men ask for directions when lost. Real life testimonial from a man who did.
  
• Is it genetically impossible to stay quiet as she tries to find parking in Nairobi's CBD? Driving simulation.
  
• Living with adults: Differences between your mother, your partner and your "she's just a friend". Online class and role play.
  
• How to be the ideal shopping companion? Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques and info-session on the latest credit cards.
  
• It is not uncool to show that you care: remembering important dates and calling when you're going to be late. Bring your calendar, Blackberry or iPhone to class.
• Taking control in a relationship. She may be a control freak, but really, she wants you to be THE MAN, so step up already.
  
• Getting over it. Learning how to live with being wrong all the time.
  
• How to put the toilet seat down. Practical demonstration.
I am looking forward to your esteemed opinions in order to improve on this draft curriculum. I am also still looking for several resource person to facilitate some of the sessions, so let me know if you are an expert in any of the above or other topics I may have missed. Dates and venues will be confirmed later. Group bookings and special deals will be made available.Source URL: https://pussyhotnaked.blogspot.com/search/label/fun
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She had a dream

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